Listen to yourself [feat Zoe]

As soon as she finished reading the lizard message, she knew she did a mistake. There was a time when Owain was a really good friend, coming almost all days despites her shyness. There was a time when she could still believe their relation was something good for him, for both of them, when it was something she could smile about. As she was thinking of the past, the situation became obvious : all of this was over for a while, already. Those memories were great, peaceful and part of the moments she'd never forget, but it was also something she wanted to forget. It wasn't his fault, not at all - to be honest, he was one of the best friends she had. He kept coming, kept believing and all this time, he never said he wanted to walk away. Despites all she did, how awful she was, ignoring him, saving him from everything she hated about herself, he never changed.

He was this friend smiling, worrying about her. He was, and still is all she needs, never giving up, sending messages time to time. Zoe was stubborn and from all of the possibilities, the one that something could accept her was one of the most difficult to believe. To her, a normal answer to her magical problems couldn't be possible. To her, a normal life couldn't be a goal to reach - not to something who couldn't even be normal. All this time, until he came knocking at door, she couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe in you - she stayed in bed, hiding her face in the middle of her arms, looking for a magical way to escape from today, from this place, from her life and this world - because magic is able to do this, right ?

Magic could save her, somehow, right ? Because if it can makes her so unhappy, why can't it, for once, save her from her doubts ? She wasn't sure if Owain could understand her but what she thought, as this moment, makes her move her legs. If someone was able to try, it was him. If something was able to accept her, it was him. Slowly walking to the door, she opened it in a harsh movement, putting her eyes into his eyes. One second. Two seconds. At the third, she turned her gaze away while she left him the space to come into the room.

- I... I missed you too, kinda.

She bit her lips, avoiding to say something stupid - did she have the right to say something like this, after staying alone all this time ? For once, she wanted to be honest, whatever he could think of her - after all, he wanted to face her, ignoring what he saw about her magic. He didn't care at all. She closed the door and walked back to her bed, invinting him with an hand movement to come by.

- I didn't want to... I mean, i wanted to see you, but I didn't want you to see me the way you saw me that day. This is why, I... I never opened.

Have you been holding up okay ? Not at all. Not even a bit. All this time struggling, all this time thinking about what she could become, what she had already become. Zoe always was a clever child : there is a lot of things she could do with a bit of determination but there is nothing she could do about what she used to call her "magical problem". Couldn't this magic-change student do something about her ? She heard a lot about this person, went out some times, those days, walking on all those streets filled with people. She was hoping to meet him, see him, or just touch him - since it was enough for him to act.

She tried really hard. She really did, because getting out wasn't as easy as for the others. She walked until her feet felt like fire, she stayed outside until she was about to cry. It wasn't about hatred - but more than anyone, she needed her time alone. Was there anyone to understand this kind of weird feelings ? Was Owain able to know how it was to live with a cursed magic ? Probably not. Still, she didn't want to lie anymore. She didn't want to keep herself silent, wasting all this time, filled with regrets, thinking of everything she could have done. Keeping her door close wasn't the answer to her problems. Staying alone in her bedroom, with all those black thoughts wasn't the way out of her curse.

- No, it's on me. I should have told you earlier about those feelings. I should have... I could have done better.

He was laughing, trying to keep the atmosphere cool. He was laughing, trying to get back all the time they lost, staying away from each other. To her, it was different - and she couldn't help but seeing her tears fall on its own. Slowly, at start, then suddenly ; Zoe putted her hands in front of her eyes, focusing on her breathing to keep calm. After all this time, Owain was here. Despite all this time, he was here. He came back.
He wasn't angry or disgusted, didn't even seem to care about this. He was here, as he always was, and she started crying in silence during a couple of minutes which seemed like eternity. She took so much time looking for a solution, she never thought her answer would come to her by itself. She was so sure she couldn't deserve anyone that she stopped to believe anyone would accept her.

- I wasn't okay, she said softly. I'm not okay.

You can assume how difficult it was for her to tell anyone about it. Of course, powers are public information, for anyone who knows how to search. "Transformation into demonic creature" isn't something you wish to have. He probably knew about it since a while, but didn't say anything, not considering it as something he needed to care about.

- I juste hate my power. I even came to hate myself. It's not you, I just... I couldn't get out of here. I couldn't see anyone at all. I can't expect my life to be normal. I... I don't know what I am supposed to do about it.